"I'd like a lager."
The bartender rolls his eyes and gives him a lager.
Next a sailor walks into the bar and says, "I'd like a port."
The bartender rolls his eyes and pours him a glass of port wine.
Soon after, a frog jumps onto the bar. Before the frog can speak, the bartender says, "Let me guess, you'll take any beer that's hoppy?"
"Actually," says the frog, "I'd like a Bijou. Equal parts gin, green Chartreuse, and sweet vermouth, stirred and strained into a Nick & Nora glass, with an orange twist expressed and discarded."
The bartender looks confused, but manages to make the frog his drink. The frog proceeds to sit there for hour after hour, not even touching the drink or taking one sip. The frog just looks around and seems to be getting more frustrated by the second. Finally, the bartender asks, "What's the deal? You had me make this drink eight hours ago and haven't even tasted it."
"Sorry," says the frog. "I just wanted to order something that seemed like I go to bars all the time so you wouldn't kick me out. The truth is, this is my first time ever going to a bar and it's not what I hoped for."
"What were you hoping for?" asks the bartender.
The frog sighs, lets out a long croak, and says, "Bar flies."
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