​The Walmart Greeter's Ultimate Comeback

After landing my new job as a Walmart greeter — a great gig for many retirees — I lasted less than a day.

About two hours into my first shift, a loud, mean-looking woman stormed in with two kids, yelling obscenities at them the whole way.

As I'd been trained, I smiled and said cheerfully, "Good morning and welcome to Walmart! Nice children you have there. Are they twins?"

She snarled, "Hell no, they ain't twins! One's 9, the other is 7. Are you blind or just stupid?!"

So I smiled and replied, "Neither, ma'am. I just couldn't believe someone slept with you twice."