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The World-Saving Genie: "You Wished the Icelandic-Tongan War Never Happened!" 🧞‍♂️🌍😂

A joke I just made up about a genie Genie: hi I am a genie you have 3 wishe…

The Shoplifter's Husband: Confessing the Bag of Rice! 🍎🍚😂

A married woman is caught shoplifting a bag of apples. In court the judge s…

Little Johnny's Disgusting Sales Strategy: The Government Method! 💩💰😂

Monday morning at school, the teacher lined up all the students to present thei…

The Rooster's Final Act: "Shhh... They Are About to Land." 🐓🦅😂

A farmer buys a new young rooster when his old rooster can't "perform&…

The Rooster Race Twist: "Third Damn Gay Rooster I Bought This Month!" 🐓🏳️‍🌈😂

A farmer buys a new rooster and brings it home. Upon seeing the new young roost…

The Glamorous Woman's Secret: Stung... at Walmart! 💄🛒😂

A woman goes to the doctor looking fantastic: hair and makeup done by a profess…

The Blonde, the Quarterback, and the 25-Cent Mystery! 🏈😂

Took my blonde girlfriend to her first football game. I took my blonde girl…

The Heavenly Divorce Problem: "How Long to Find a Lawyer?!" 😇💍😂

A man and his wife die and meet St Peter at the pearly gates "Please c…

The Genie's Last Meal Wish: Chicken or Fish? 🧞‍♂️🍗😂

A boy found a magic lamp one day and out came a genie who exclaimed "I sha…

The Skinny Lumberjack and the Sahara "Forest" Secret! 🌳🏜️😂

The Skinny Lumberjack A very thin fellow wandered into a lumberjacking outf…

The Boy's Confession: "Don't Start This Nonsense Again!" 💰🤫😂

A woman spends the day with her lover while her husband is at work Her husb…

The Priest's Customs Declaration: A Marvelous Unused Instrument! ✈️🍆😂

An attractive young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the priest beside her,…

The Cannibals' Fruit Challenge: "I Saw Harry Coming Back with Pineapples!" 🍍🍑😂

Three men are captured by cannibals. They are taken to the chief, who says …

The Golfer, the Saleswoman, and the "One Hole Behind You" Pun! 🏌️‍♀️😂

A man was out on the golf course one sunny day when he realized he was complete…

The Armless Man's Dream: "His Face Rings a Bell!" 🛎️😂

A priest is in his church, placing prayer books among the pews when a man with …

The Amazing Frank Jones: I Married His Widow! 🚕🤵😂

A  man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets in…

The Fireman, the Cat's Testicles, and the "Siren" Problem! 🐱🚒😂

A fireman was working on the engine outside the station when he noticed a littl…

The Hero's Last Stand: "When Did This Happen?" "About Three Minutes Ago!" 😇👊😂

A man died and was met at the pearly gates of Heaven by St. Peter himself S…

The Scottish Shepherd's "King's English" Drinking Tip! 🐑💦😂

A tourist is hiking through the Scottish Highlands and stops to tak…

Little Johnny's "Definitely" Solid Argument! 💨💩😂

A teacher asked her class to use “definitely” in a sentence. “The sky is defini…

Tarzan's "Intimate" Moment: Checking for Bees! 🐝🌳😂

Tarzan and Jane After Tarzan and Jane have gotten to know each other for a …

The Lion and the Elephant's "Temper": "He Could Have Just Said, 'I Don't Know!'" 🦁🐘😂

A lion was walking through the savanna. He comes across a boar. "Hey, …

The Kilted Scotsman's First Prize: A Blue Ribbon Discovery! 🎀🍆😂

A kilted Scotsman was walking home from a pub one morning after a night of whis…

The African Prince's 14-Inch "Problem": "Ok. I Cut, I Cut!" 🍆✂️😂

An African prince comes to the USA and meets a beautiful woman. He proposes…

The Hotel Balcony Mystery: "I Beat the S**t Out of a Ghost!" 👻💩😂

Three men check into a hotel and ask for rooms with balconies. They get the…

The Locked Keys and the Prison-Trained Professional! 🔑🏍️😂

An elderly woman rushed to the pharmacy to pick up medication, but when she ret…

The Pole's Fork Revenge: "You Won't Make S**t Out of Me!" 🇵🇱🍴😂

Japanese, American and a Pole shipwrecked on an island and got captured by the …

The Halloween Bear Costume Twist: "I Lent My Costume to Your Brother!" 🐻🎃😂

A couple was invited to a Halloween party. But the wife got a terrible headache…

The "Microsoft" Scammer vs. The Man With No Computer: "You Started It!" 📞😂

I had a phone conversation today with a very nice young chap from India Thi…

Agatha's Courtroom Confession: "He Yelled April Fool... So I Shot Him!" 👵🔫😂

An elderly woman winds up in court for murder. Defence barrister: 'Will yo…

The Autopsy and the Brainless Lawyer: "Alive and Practicing Law!" 🧠⚖️😂

This actually happened... ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autops…

The Sheriff's Nightstick Lesson: "Stop or Slow Down?" 👮‍♂️⚖️😂

A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff. He…

The Irishman's $500 Bet: A Quick Practice Run! 🍻💰😂

A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his throat to addres…

The Forgetful Couple's Breakfast: "Where's the Toast?!" 🍳🥓🍦😂

There was an elderly couple who in their old age noticed that they were getting…

The German's Revenge: "Stop This Spitting in the Shoes, This Peeing in the Coke!" 🚂🤮😂

A German and a Dutch man are sitting next to each other on the train.  The Germ…

The Castaway's Two Churches: One I Go To, One I Used To! 🏝️⛪😂

A castaway has been stranded on a deserted island for ten years. One day a ship…

The Lord's Light and the Mystery of the Fridge Pee! 💡🚽🥶😂

An 80 year old man went for his annual check-up the Doctor said, "For …

The Burglar, the Parrot, and the Rottweiler Named Jesus! 🦜🐕‍🦺😂

One Late Evening, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty. Tiptoe…

The General's Misunderstanding: "It's Only 21:30!" ⏰❤️😂

A woman asked an army general when he'd last made love The general thou…

The 85-Year-Old Groom's "Impressive" Wedding Night! 👴❤️😂

At 85 years, Morris marries a lovely 25-year-old woman. Because her new husband…

The Homeless Guy's Jaguar and the House-Winning Dump! 🚓💩🏠😂

A traffic cop is standing by the road. He sees a new Jaguar speeding and pu…

The Bodybuilder's Beach Problem: "The Dang Things Are Growing Wild!" 🏖️😂

A bodybuilder was admiring his body in the mirror when he noticed he was suntan…

The Carpenter in Heaven: "Dad?" ... "Pinocchio?" 🤥🙏😂

Jesus was relaxing in Heaven when he noticed a familiar looking old man. Wonder…

The Farmer and the Widow's Alley Shortcut: "I'll Hold the Bloody Chickens!" 🐔😂

A farmer stopped by the local mechanic's shop to have his truck fixed. …

Little Johnny's "Whole Truth" Discovery: A Mailman's Hug! 🤫✉️😂

At school, Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at…

The Priest's Mansion Problem: When a Taxi Driver Makes People Pray! 🚕🙏😂

An elderly priest dies and is welcomed at the Pearly Gates by St Peter. &qu…

The Logical Scientist's Method and the Goldfish Wanker! 🐠🧠😂

Two builders go into the pub after a hard day's work. They're sat d…

The Irish Priest's Three Questions: "Not In My Lifetime!" 🇮🇪🙏😂

An elderly Irish priest from a little village in Mayo meets God in his sleep …

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