Old man is sitting on his porch one day, just watching the world going by as he always does, when he notices a kid walking by (and seeming very purposeful), dragging something behind him. The old man calls out, "Hey kid! Whatcha got there?" (long but worth it)

The kid replies, "I gots me some chicken-wire."

Old man asks, "Whatcha doin' with chicken-wire?"

Kid replies, "I'm gonna catch me some chickens!"

Old man cries out in disbelief, "Chicken-wire's for penning 'em in, boy. You can't CATCH chickens with no chicken-wire!"

The kid says, "Oh yes, you can! Come with me and I'll show you!"

The old man just grumpily waves him off, chuckling to himself at the kid's stupidity. But then, an hour later, here comes the kid, walking back up the road with a couple chickens wrapped up in his chicken-wire. To which the old man just scratches his head in confusion, too stunned to say anything.

So, the next day, the old man is once again sitting on his porch and he sees the same kid, boppin' down the lane, tossing something up and down in his hand.

The old man hollers out, "Hey kid! Whatcha got there?"

"I got me some duck-tape!", the kid proudly exclaims. "I'ma go catch me some ducks!"

The old man, thoroughly disgusted by the obvious ignorance and stupidity he's just heard, hollers, "It ain't DUCK-tape, boy, it's DUCT-tape! And you sure as hell can't catch no ducks with no DUCT-tape!"

"Sure you can!" the kid replies, smiling. "Come with me, I'll show ya!"

"Oh just get the fuck outta here!" the old man yells dismissively.

Well, sure as shit, an hour later, here comes the kid with three ducks wrapped up in duct-tape!

The old man just rolls his eyes and goes back into his house, too confused to know what to say.

Well, the NEXT day, here comes the kid. Swinging something in his hand, swishing it back and forth.

The old man yells out, "Hey kid! Whatchoo got there today?"

The kid, beaming from ear to ear, says, "I gots me some pussy-willow."

The old man says, "Hold on a second, son. Just let me grab my hat..."

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