A man died and was met at the pearly gates of Heaven by St. Peter himself
St. Peter says to him, "Before you meet with God, I must tell you, we've looked over your life and noticed that you didn't really do anything particularly good or bad. We're not sure what to do with you. Can you tell us anything good that you did to help us make the decision to give you entry into heaven?
The newly arrived soul thought for a moment and said, "Yeah, once I was driving home and noticed a little old lady who was being harassed by a group of thugs in an alleyway. So I pulled over and went up to the leader of the thugs. He was a big, muscular guy with a ring pierced through his lip. Well, I tore the ring out of his lip, and told him he and his gang had better stop bothering this lady or they would have to deal with me!"
St. Peter's eyes grew large and he looked impressed. "Wow, that's amazing," he said. "When did this happen?"
"About three minutes ago," said the man.
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