A man owned a small ranch in Montana, where life was tough but steady.

One day, the labor department received a tip that he might not be paying proper wages to his employees, so they sent an investigator to check it out.

The investigator asked,

  • "Please tell me how many employees you have and how much you pay them."

The rancher calmly replied:

  • "Well, my ranch-hand has been with me for three years, and I pay him $1,200 per week plus free room and board."
  • "The cook has been here for a year, and I pay him $1,000 per week, also with free room and board."

The rancher paused before adding,

  • "And then there’s a half-wit. He works 18 hours a day, every day, with no time off."
  • "He does about 90% of the work around here, makes roughly $10 a week, and pays for his own room and board."
  • "I do, however, buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night. Oh, and occasionally, he sleeps with my wife."

The investigator, shocked and indignant, said,

  • "Uh-huh! That’s the fool I demand to speak with immediately!"

The rancher looked him square in the eye and replied with a smirk...

  • "You’re speaking to him."

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