Man walks into a bar and orders a drink. After a while, he goes to use the restroom. On the way, he passes a cigarette machine. The machine sneers at him ‘what are you looking at? Ugly git. You could do with losing some weight, fatty’.
The man is shocked and after he’s done in the toilet, he gets the same level of abuse from the cigarette machine on his way back to the bar.
Once he’s sitting back down, fresh pint in hand, he looks down at a bowl of peanuts. ‘Hey there handsome, have you been losing weight? Looking good’. The man can’t believe his ears.
He explains to the barman what’s happened and the barman smiles. ‘Ah, you see, the peanuts are complimentary but the cigarette machine is out of order’
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